KIds after the age of 55 by The Outlaw Micheal Tomsik

Recently in my life a change happened that was not really planned by my wife Annie and I. We became foster parents to children the ages of 6 and 2 recently in July 2024. 

The children are relatives from our son in law Micheal. However the children had to come through the Foster  Care Program to stay with us. The story is a bit long but to make it shorter our oldest daughter Sarah who is married to Michael (Son In Law) has had 5 grandchildren for us but 2 of the grandchildren passed shortly after birth. That is another subject for a different blog.

The relative had dropped 2 of the 4 children off to live with Sarah and Micheal. Sarah and Micheal had adopted those two children. The relative however took off with the other 2 children we currently have to another State. They got into some legal trouble and the State took the children from the home and placed them into Foster Care.

Our daughter and her husband attempted to get the other 2 children thinking they would keep all the siblings in one home. In the end however the State that put them in Foster Care decided that they needed to stay in the State they had been in. It was nearly 1.5 years later the State contacted our daughter but this time the State decided Sarah and Micheal did not have enough room in the house for the other 2. Since Sarah and our other daughter had moved out and gotten married we had a 3 bedroom home and we got convinced by our daughter to bring the children to our home.

We decided that we would and got Foster Care Certified and got approved to have the 2 children come live with us to be near the other 2 siblings. In short all this happened in July 2024. 

In August of 2024 I turned 55, and Annie is currently 53 (don't tell her I told you her age). Annie and I had planned to enjoy the fact our daughters had grown up, gotten married and we could do what we wanted to do. However the minute the 2 young children came that all changed.

In America believe it or not the estimated amount of children living with a grandparent was estimated in 2023 at 7.1 million. Also in 2023 it was estimated that over 70 million children live with people over the age of 55. Some studies point to an era called BABY BOOMERS. This generation had been born in the years between 1946 to 1964. BABY BOOMERS are the ages of 57 to 75 years of age. Annie and I both fall into GENERATION X, That generation includes people born from 1965 to 1980.

Even though Annie and I had been enjoying some freedoms in life without children we still had been working full time, and operating a small business. So adding children into our life was not all that easy. First we had to get them enrolled into school and our children have mental issues and medical issues. So to top that off we have to be certified through the State we live in. So we had to to take classes. You would think the Foster Care system would be helpful and supportive but we have not found that to be true. Since the kids arrival we have had no support of the Foster System we had to fight just to get day care and other medical and dental services for the children.

Annie and I have jumped back into taking kids to and from school, also taking them to all the needed services and just being parents again. We are not enjoying the peace and quiet we thought, We are constantly tired and find it hard to get a moment to ourselves. Also we found our expenses doubled or even tripled having the children. Also our small business has suffered as well due to time constraints and planning things for the children. 

So ask yourself how families are doing it ?

Expenses of living are also a consideration for a couple over 55 in 2023 having an average income of $80,000 per year. Also many people retire at the age of 62 to 65 relying on social security or retirement funds. This lowers the average income to around  $64,000 per year.

It is estimated that the expenses for a family of 4 in 2023 ran nearly $8.600 per month or over $101,000 per year. You can do the math above and see that living with children financially is a struggle. Even living without children can be a struggle financially these days.

Living with children you find yourself a person with many hats as the daily care of a little human being has become your life. Don't expect any peace and quiet or time to yourself though I do recommend attempting to find a way to do this otherwise you may end up in the insane award.

Don't get me wrong I love both our daughters and I loved watching them grow up into beautiful women. However I did think we had been done with raising children until we got these 2 we currently have. Is it worth the financial struggles, the tired nights, no peace, and constant attention they need is a decision you will have to make yourselves. 

However looking into the research you're not alone if you choose to parent after the age of 55.